H: Meet Princess P...

So meet Hope; more commonly know as P ! On 24/04/2015 this little miracle was born..

She was a huge filly and a difficult birth. On the Map, (her Mum) was not the easiest of maidens and took a little time to accept her baby. But the result our beautiful Halona Paloma. I immediately messaged Kate and my OH Tom, that Clare had got a buckskin filly, the foal I'd been dreaming of for the past four years. It was a month after my operation and it's funny how being quite unwell makes you even more determined to make your dreams a reality. I decided I wanted my next challenge and I wanted it to be a 'Tabula Rasa'. I knew she was 'the one' the minute I saw Clare's post. The moment we arrived, I had those butterflies that you only get when you know this is the new member of your family.

She was friendly, but also independent, coming over to say hello and then wondering off. That day was magical and I'll never forget it. I was drawn to her, through the field of golden beauties. I was fascinated by her indifference; her bold and sassy nature that I would come to know so well. It wasn't even a decision, I'd made up my mind and she was joining the herd (no sleeping on it needed!!!).

The only thing I hadn't predicted was that I would lose my leading lady, our caring Mother hen who looked after all the babies. I was left with a complete dilemma; put her in with Drifter? Who we know can be a little bit of a sociopath, seeking affection at times, but from only those he trusts deeply and his sometimes stallion-like and unpredictable behaviour made me nervous that she might get hurt. I was wondering whether to find somewhere else for her to go rather than keep them together. 

I shouldn't have worried. I put them together and Drifter took to Big Brotherhood immediately. Showing her around his field and reassuring her, but also setting clear boundaries. What was immediately clear, she didn't feel threatened by him, or any of the other 16.2 geldings or mares! She was a bold and troublesome little filly with a huge heart. 

I absolutely adore her, she's my baby girl and she's a representation of a new adventure. She has turned out to be far better than I could have ever hoped for, she makes me laugh and smile, but most of all she melts my heart with her soft nature and ultimate courage. 

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present... :KFP!

K: Success is not measured by ribbons, but the harmony of working together in partnership.

We live crazy, fast paced and sometimes blurry lives. The past 15 months of silence has been down to just that. Today I sit on the train contemplating the day, what lies ahead and how I will do better than last time. Life's for me, about moving forward, learning more and challenging myself to be more than I was yesterday. It's exhausting. 

Why tell you this? Because I want all of the above for Russia; to achieve, move forward and be everything I know he has the potential to be. But if I take the approach I take on my own successes to his development I assure you, our love affair will end badly. Maybe I should apply that thinking to my own life.

2015 - Just broken

He is now broken; in fact it's the quickest I've ever seen a horse ride away. Within 12 months he's gone from non to elementary, from the ugly duckling into a beautiful swan. Not without some stumbling blocks along the way...I look forward to telling you all about overcoming these. He dealt with losing Spice and although he isn't past it (story for another day) he has become incredibly independent. She instilled his confidence in life. I thank her  for that.

2017 - Starting to look like a grown up 

Most importantly throughout this breaking process he still sees me as equal; when we walk together he's always by my side (again a little bit of Spice's influence I'm sure) and whatever I ask of him, no matter how scary he will put one foot forward in front of the other.

Of course we push him, he's talented and why shouldn't he achieve everything he's capable - but never to the detriment of himself or our relationship.

So a life passes by; crazy, busy, and blurry, we should take the learnings of our horses to understand success is a great place to be, but our need to succeed shouldn't be of detriment of the things we have to treasure. Because after all, when things don't go to plan it's those treasures that get us through. 

H: God made good doctors for healing the body; he made horses for healing the soul/

So since August 2014, I've had a few issues with my back and my chest. I managed to give myself a large disc herniation from lifting, followed by an average fall off Drifter (my own fault, as I didn't realise a distance had been altered in a combination and was far too short for him!). The result was a few nights in A&E, nebulisers for breathing and scans galore on my back and chest. The fall had caused spasm in my chest resulting in asthma, and further aggravated the issues I was having in my lower back. I was able to cope with the back pain, but with the laboured breathing life was difficult. I couldn't believe that in the space of the week, I had gone from being a fit and active 23 year old, riding everyday, to being unable to walk a short distance without struggling to breathe and having acute sciatic pain down my leg.

A week before my disc popped it's clogs!

A few months on with inhalers and physio, my breathing significantly improved - I was able to speak without taking deep breaths again :) But my back remained a nightmare. I was still unable to ride and walked with a limp, with the worst pain when trying to stand up after sitting! I was told not to ride until I was sorted, and in actual fact I was unable to anyway; the worst blow. Riding is my hobby, my life, my stress release, my passion. I was absolutely gutted and started to get very down, I'm just not very good at sitting still!

 When I finally got to see a Spinal surgeon in January after an mri, he recommended surgery instantly due to the size of the prolapse (squishing 90% of my sciatic nerve!) and on March 23rd I went into hospital to have it removed. I woke up from the anaesthetic having an asthma attack and the pain in my back was the worst I had ever felt. After a few shots of morphine, I was wiped out but I couldn't sleep and when I finally got home, I started to think I wasn't ever going to get back to normal. I felt like I would always be in so much pain.

Teaching Drifter 'High 10s'

So what got me through all this - other than Tom, Kate, friends and family? My equine OH, otherwise known as Drifter! Being unable to ride made me submerge myself in groundwork training, something I was still able to do with him. He gave me a reason for getting out of bed on the days when the pain was at it's worst. When I just needed a hug, he was there, still and calm and just there! When I was feeling sorry for myself, he almost had that 'Get up and get on with it' attitude towards me when we went out on our walks; 'Look how lucky you are; I'm going and you're coming with me.' I was able to start walking out for short periods and going with Drifter made it so much easier.

Our first jump 4 months post op!

I'm back on board now and loving life. I still have sciatic nerve pain frequently, and there are some things that still put me back, but I can now do what I love again, and boy was it worth the wait!

I owe him so much, he teaches me something everyday; patience, strength, and most of all empathy.

                                        

God made the horse from the breath of the wind, the beauty of the earth and the soul of an angel