H: If you stumble make it part of the dance...

We as horse owners are always striving for a closer relationship with our equines. Whether you do dressage and the slightest cues are asking for the biggest movements, or coming into a huge cross country fence and you want the horse to read the same stride as you so you clear in harmony, or hacking down a busy main road and you want the horse to know where to stand and wait to be told to move on; we're all looking for the same thing...Connection.

For myself, being able to ride at liberty was my dream; entrusting my horse to look after me and listen to me, completely free, infinitely testing our boundaries and to finally know if he is truly doing it because he wants to, not because he's forced to. So I'd seen Parelli and Stacey Westfall do it, and it seemed a million miles away. You find yourself thinking 'Those horses must be so well behaved,' 'They must have been training for years for this,' 'They have a gift.' But the truth is, there is no secret, no gift; anyone can do it, and you certainly don't need the 'Perfect horse'. It's just time, patience and determination.

When Drift came as a two year old, I knew I wanted to take things slowly with him, he was so nervous of everything and had so much anxiety. I was only 16 at the time, and perhaps buying an unhandled two year old with horstism wasn't the smartest move. So we went steady, got Drifter to accept a head collar, a rug (which took about 12 months before he stopped shuddering when you threw it over his back!!) By the time he was 3 we had a relationship, albeit a shaky one. I loved him to bits, and he was starting to trust me, but this trust was taken back in an instant if I made a mistake.

Baby Drifter, terrified of being brushed!!

So he turned 3 and it was time to start PROPER work. Head collar was fine, and I introduced him to a bridle which was one of the easier tasks. A saddle took some time, but finally he accepted wearing it in his stable. Then came the lunging in our small sand school. I walked him around there slowly, it was right next to his paddock, and it was closed using a line of thick electric fence. So I slowly sent him away.... In less than 3 seconds he was blind bolting out of the arena, and straight at the electric. As it was the mains that connected to all the paddocks, and it was right at the source, it was powerful; I had no doubt he'd stop. But oh no, he bolted straight through it, taking half the paddock fencing with him for around 200 metres.

Getting some much needed rest!

FAIL. I ran back to his stable to find a quivering mess, with a burn mark on the whole front of his chest. It was red raw, but of course he wasn't okay with any kinds of bathing, sprays, powders. Those are the days when you just think, What the F*** am I doing here? I'm way out of my depth this is supposedly going to be my horse to ride and enjoy!

Then came the backing process. I'd started to sit on Drift in his stable, bareback and with a saddle and he accepted me, it was a closed environment with nowhere to go. So being a crazy 17 year old, who'd never started a horse before, I thought he'd be fine to take into the field and I'd just have a ride round and see how it went.... BADLY of course! Walk was okay for a few minutes, I asked for trot and ping! I was flying through the air. No worries, just bad luck first time, I wasn't ready. Back on and ping! Bronc and twist to drop your shoulder, the fastest and most successful evacuation process!

One of my daily falls! One of the least dramatic!

BUGGER. He has super powers and knows exactly how to get me off! All the things I'd been thrown before, bucking, napping, rearing, launching, OH NO. I'm a bronc; and I say there is absolutely no way in hell I'm letting you stay up there whilst I'm moving. So I decided perhaps he wasn't ready for ridden work and went back to making him stronger on the ground. 12 months on, after sending me through, over and into the menage fence, we had a horse that could be ridden; kind of! I still probably fell 75% of the times I rode him for the first 6 months, but we were making progress. He was not a straightforward breaker, thats for sure.

OUCH. Sore bum yet again!!

TYPICAL. I'd just got Drift going and I certainly didn't want to leave him, but I also wanted to get a job that could pay for him forever. So off I went to university, and I'd come home every other week to continue his education. Realistically, it was not enough, but due to his unpredictable nature, I was terrified to let anyone else ride him, in a fear he'd receive a telling off and retreat further into his shell than he still was. And if I'm being truly honest, I'd worked so hard to get him where he was, I wasn't sharing the credit with anyone else. Luckily for him, riding for me was just a bonus. This horse meant everything to me and as I'd always promised him, even if I could never ride him, he was my horse of a lifetime. (Looking back; I probably shouldn't have told him).

Finally getting somewhere!!

So then as I wrote in earlier post I stumbled onto keeping horses Barefoot and I started to question absolutely every area of horse management. The bit, was it necessary for us? He was ridden only in a happy mouth and was only ever strong when he blind bolted in fear- No bit, strength, gadget will ever stop that. And so began the next chapter...TBC

K: Believe you can do it and you've won half the battle.

When I was 17 Sugar came to live with us. I’d been riding her for a while for a novice family who had ended up with a bad tempered pony their daughter couldn’t ride. Sugar was a 13.2hh appaloosa, boy did she play the chestnut mare stereotype well. We’d been getting on fine, schooling, jumping – Hayley had tried some games with her, she’d clearly done it before. I was hoping that the work we had put in would mean she could go on to be a good pony for an experienced child and not end up in the wrong hands.

May 2007 my world changed. Sugar flipped because I pushed her beyond what she could take, she reared and knocked me out, I fell and my foot got wedged in the stirrup causing her to trample me. I spent the next 24 hours not knowing the date, time or who I was. It was frightening. After a number of scans I finally remember the consultant telling me I was a princess; I was demanding, but I was going to be ok. Lucky for me, I don’t remember the time of the accident. Our bodies have a way of protecting us from the worst. The final damage was wrecked tendons, ligaments and broken bones in my knee, leg and foot. It was to be a long recovery, I needed an operation and I was about to take my A Levels. I’ve told you before about my drive to succeed no matter what – I may have got that from my mum. She told the consultant to postpone the operation if it wouldn’t cause any further damage, cast my leg for the next week and give me enough medicine for me to sit my exams. This is exactly what happened. Following, I had an operation to reconstruct my knee and I started the 12 months of physio to recovery. Although the real recovery was 9 months later, a holiday away with my friends I finally stopped using by crutches as support and started to get back on with my life.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Back in the saddle

I wasn’t to ride again, my leg was weak and my confidence broken. The doctor said I shouldn’t ride again. Sugar was sold to a family friend. This elderly man became her best friend, he broke her to a trap and she will live out her days with him. I would recover, go off to uni and for a while not have horses on my mind. But any girl who has grown up with horses knows we can’t get by without. It’s an addiction. At 21, Hayley and I were both back from uni and I went to visit her, Drifter and Spice. I wanted to to ride and it was a turning point for me. I felt at home in the saddle on Drifter, he knew I needed him to take care of me and over the next few weeks I would start to do more and even have a small jump. If it wasn’t for Hayley and Drifter I wouldn’t be back in the saddle. Thank you.

2014 Drifter and I

I still sometimes get nervous when I ride, mostly  jumping and cross country. This is because I know most danger is here, but it gets better and I have Russia who no matter what makes me feel safe. We’re learning together, day by day we jump higher and ride faster. There is nothing this horse won’t do for me. So next time you feel like the hurdle is too big, or your nerves kick in because ultimately you could get hurt…it’s okay. Build your confidence slowly and never let someone push you further than you can handle, each time you do something it will become easier.

Nothing stopping us.

Most of all, please use safety gear. Safety stirrups would have let me walk away with a few bruises. We’re not indestructible and we’re riding animals who have their own minds – even our best horses have a bad day.