H: If you stumble make it part of the dance...

We as horse owners are always striving for a closer relationship with our equines. Whether you do dressage and the slightest cues are asking for the biggest movements, or coming into a huge cross country fence and you want the horse to read the same stride as you so you clear in harmony, or hacking down a busy main road and you want the horse to know where to stand and wait to be told to move on; we're all looking for the same thing...Connection.

For myself, being able to ride at liberty was my dream; entrusting my horse to look after me and listen to me, completely free, infinitely testing our boundaries and to finally know if he is truly doing it because he wants to, not because he's forced to. So I'd seen Parelli and Stacey Westfall do it, and it seemed a million miles away. You find yourself thinking 'Those horses must be so well behaved,' 'They must have been training for years for this,' 'They have a gift.' But the truth is, there is no secret, no gift; anyone can do it, and you certainly don't need the 'Perfect horse'. It's just time, patience and determination.

When Drift came as a two year old, I knew I wanted to take things slowly with him, he was so nervous of everything and had so much anxiety. I was only 16 at the time, and perhaps buying an unhandled two year old with horstism wasn't the smartest move. So we went steady, got Drifter to accept a head collar, a rug (which took about 12 months before he stopped shuddering when you threw it over his back!!) By the time he was 3 we had a relationship, albeit a shaky one. I loved him to bits, and he was starting to trust me, but this trust was taken back in an instant if I made a mistake.

Baby Drifter, terrified of being brushed!!

So he turned 3 and it was time to start PROPER work. Head collar was fine, and I introduced him to a bridle which was one of the easier tasks. A saddle took some time, but finally he accepted wearing it in his stable. Then came the lunging in our small sand school. I walked him around there slowly, it was right next to his paddock, and it was closed using a line of thick electric fence. So I slowly sent him away.... In less than 3 seconds he was blind bolting out of the arena, and straight at the electric. As it was the mains that connected to all the paddocks, and it was right at the source, it was powerful; I had no doubt he'd stop. But oh no, he bolted straight through it, taking half the paddock fencing with him for around 200 metres.

Getting some much needed rest!

FAIL. I ran back to his stable to find a quivering mess, with a burn mark on the whole front of his chest. It was red raw, but of course he wasn't okay with any kinds of bathing, sprays, powders. Those are the days when you just think, What the F*** am I doing here? I'm way out of my depth this is supposedly going to be my horse to ride and enjoy!

Then came the backing process. I'd started to sit on Drift in his stable, bareback and with a saddle and he accepted me, it was a closed environment with nowhere to go. So being a crazy 17 year old, who'd never started a horse before, I thought he'd be fine to take into the field and I'd just have a ride round and see how it went.... BADLY of course! Walk was okay for a few minutes, I asked for trot and ping! I was flying through the air. No worries, just bad luck first time, I wasn't ready. Back on and ping! Bronc and twist to drop your shoulder, the fastest and most successful evacuation process!

One of my daily falls! One of the least dramatic!

BUGGER. He has super powers and knows exactly how to get me off! All the things I'd been thrown before, bucking, napping, rearing, launching, OH NO. I'm a bronc; and I say there is absolutely no way in hell I'm letting you stay up there whilst I'm moving. So I decided perhaps he wasn't ready for ridden work and went back to making him stronger on the ground. 12 months on, after sending me through, over and into the menage fence, we had a horse that could be ridden; kind of! I still probably fell 75% of the times I rode him for the first 6 months, but we were making progress. He was not a straightforward breaker, thats for sure.

OUCH. Sore bum yet again!!

TYPICAL. I'd just got Drift going and I certainly didn't want to leave him, but I also wanted to get a job that could pay for him forever. So off I went to university, and I'd come home every other week to continue his education. Realistically, it was not enough, but due to his unpredictable nature, I was terrified to let anyone else ride him, in a fear he'd receive a telling off and retreat further into his shell than he still was. And if I'm being truly honest, I'd worked so hard to get him where he was, I wasn't sharing the credit with anyone else. Luckily for him, riding for me was just a bonus. This horse meant everything to me and as I'd always promised him, even if I could never ride him, he was my horse of a lifetime. (Looking back; I probably shouldn't have told him).

Finally getting somewhere!!

So then as I wrote in earlier post I stumbled onto keeping horses Barefoot and I started to question absolutely every area of horse management. The bit, was it necessary for us? He was ridden only in a happy mouth and was only ever strong when he blind bolted in fear- No bit, strength, gadget will ever stop that. And so began the next chapter...TBC

K: Believe you can do it and you've won half the battle.

When I was 17 Sugar came to live with us. I’d been riding her for a while for a novice family who had ended up with a bad tempered pony their daughter couldn’t ride. Sugar was a 13.2hh appaloosa, boy did she play the chestnut mare stereotype well. We’d been getting on fine, schooling, jumping – Hayley had tried some games with her, she’d clearly done it before. I was hoping that the work we had put in would mean she could go on to be a good pony for an experienced child and not end up in the wrong hands.

May 2007 my world changed. Sugar flipped because I pushed her beyond what she could take, she reared and knocked me out, I fell and my foot got wedged in the stirrup causing her to trample me. I spent the next 24 hours not knowing the date, time or who I was. It was frightening. After a number of scans I finally remember the consultant telling me I was a princess; I was demanding, but I was going to be ok. Lucky for me, I don’t remember the time of the accident. Our bodies have a way of protecting us from the worst. The final damage was wrecked tendons, ligaments and broken bones in my knee, leg and foot. It was to be a long recovery, I needed an operation and I was about to take my A Levels. I’ve told you before about my drive to succeed no matter what – I may have got that from my mum. She told the consultant to postpone the operation if it wouldn’t cause any further damage, cast my leg for the next week and give me enough medicine for me to sit my exams. This is exactly what happened. Following, I had an operation to reconstruct my knee and I started the 12 months of physio to recovery. Although the real recovery was 9 months later, a holiday away with my friends I finally stopped using by crutches as support and started to get back on with my life.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Back in the saddle

I wasn’t to ride again, my leg was weak and my confidence broken. The doctor said I shouldn’t ride again. Sugar was sold to a family friend. This elderly man became her best friend, he broke her to a trap and she will live out her days with him. I would recover, go off to uni and for a while not have horses on my mind. But any girl who has grown up with horses knows we can’t get by without. It’s an addiction. At 21, Hayley and I were both back from uni and I went to visit her, Drifter and Spice. I wanted to to ride and it was a turning point for me. I felt at home in the saddle on Drifter, he knew I needed him to take care of me and over the next few weeks I would start to do more and even have a small jump. If it wasn’t for Hayley and Drifter I wouldn’t be back in the saddle. Thank you.

2014 Drifter and I

I still sometimes get nervous when I ride, mostly  jumping and cross country. This is because I know most danger is here, but it gets better and I have Russia who no matter what makes me feel safe. We’re learning together, day by day we jump higher and ride faster. There is nothing this horse won’t do for me. So next time you feel like the hurdle is too big, or your nerves kick in because ultimately you could get hurt…it’s okay. Build your confidence slowly and never let someone push you further than you can handle, each time you do something it will become easier.

Nothing stopping us.

Most of all, please use safety gear. Safety stirrups would have let me walk away with a few bruises. We’re not indestructible and we’re riding animals who have their own minds – even our best horses have a bad day.

H: Meet Princess P...

So meet Hope; more commonly know as P ! On 24/04/2015 this little miracle was born..

She was a huge filly and a difficult birth. On the Map, (her Mum) was not the easiest of maidens and took a little time to accept her baby. But the result our beautiful Halona Paloma. I immediately messaged Kate and my OH Tom, that Clare had got a buckskin filly, the foal I'd been dreaming of for the past four years. It was a month after my operation and it's funny how being quite unwell makes you even more determined to make your dreams a reality. I decided I wanted my next challenge and I wanted it to be a 'Tabula Rasa'. I knew she was 'the one' the minute I saw Clare's post. The moment we arrived, I had those butterflies that you only get when you know this is the new member of your family.

She was friendly, but also independent, coming over to say hello and then wondering off. That day was magical and I'll never forget it. I was drawn to her, through the field of golden beauties. I was fascinated by her indifference; her bold and sassy nature that I would come to know so well. It wasn't even a decision, I'd made up my mind and she was joining the herd (no sleeping on it needed!!!).

The only thing I hadn't predicted was that I would lose my leading lady, our caring Mother hen who looked after all the babies. I was left with a complete dilemma; put her in with Drifter? Who we know can be a little bit of a sociopath, seeking affection at times, but from only those he trusts deeply and his sometimes stallion-like and unpredictable behaviour made me nervous that she might get hurt. I was wondering whether to find somewhere else for her to go rather than keep them together. 

I shouldn't have worried. I put them together and Drifter took to Big Brotherhood immediately. Showing her around his field and reassuring her, but also setting clear boundaries. What was immediately clear, she didn't feel threatened by him, or any of the other 16.2 geldings or mares! She was a bold and troublesome little filly with a huge heart. 

I absolutely adore her, she's my baby girl and she's a representation of a new adventure. She has turned out to be far better than I could have ever hoped for, she makes me laugh and smile, but most of all she melts my heart with her soft nature and ultimate courage. 

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present... :KFP!

K: Success is not measured by ribbons, but the harmony of working together in partnership.

We live crazy, fast paced and sometimes blurry lives. The past 15 months of silence has been down to just that. Today I sit on the train contemplating the day, what lies ahead and how I will do better than last time. Life's for me, about moving forward, learning more and challenging myself to be more than I was yesterday. It's exhausting. 

Why tell you this? Because I want all of the above for Russia; to achieve, move forward and be everything I know he has the potential to be. But if I take the approach I take on my own successes to his development I assure you, our love affair will end badly. Maybe I should apply that thinking to my own life.

2015 - Just broken

He is now broken; in fact it's the quickest I've ever seen a horse ride away. Within 12 months he's gone from non to elementary, from the ugly duckling into a beautiful swan. Not without some stumbling blocks along the way...I look forward to telling you all about overcoming these. He dealt with losing Spice and although he isn't past it (story for another day) he has become incredibly independent. She instilled his confidence in life. I thank her  for that.

2017 - Starting to look like a grown up 

Most importantly throughout this breaking process he still sees me as equal; when we walk together he's always by my side (again a little bit of Spice's influence I'm sure) and whatever I ask of him, no matter how scary he will put one foot forward in front of the other.

Of course we push him, he's talented and why shouldn't he achieve everything he's capable - but never to the detriment of himself or our relationship.

So a life passes by; crazy, busy, and blurry, we should take the learnings of our horses to understand success is a great place to be, but our need to succeed shouldn't be of detriment of the things we have to treasure. Because after all, when things don't go to plan it's those treasures that get us through. 

H: God made good doctors for healing the body; he made horses for healing the soul/

So since August 2014, I've had a few issues with my back and my chest. I managed to give myself a large disc herniation from lifting, followed by an average fall off Drifter (my own fault, as I didn't realise a distance had been altered in a combination and was far too short for him!). The result was a few nights in A&E, nebulisers for breathing and scans galore on my back and chest. The fall had caused spasm in my chest resulting in asthma, and further aggravated the issues I was having in my lower back. I was able to cope with the back pain, but with the laboured breathing life was difficult. I couldn't believe that in the space of the week, I had gone from being a fit and active 23 year old, riding everyday, to being unable to walk a short distance without struggling to breathe and having acute sciatic pain down my leg.

A week before my disc popped it's clogs!

A few months on with inhalers and physio, my breathing significantly improved - I was able to speak without taking deep breaths again :) But my back remained a nightmare. I was still unable to ride and walked with a limp, with the worst pain when trying to stand up after sitting! I was told not to ride until I was sorted, and in actual fact I was unable to anyway; the worst blow. Riding is my hobby, my life, my stress release, my passion. I was absolutely gutted and started to get very down, I'm just not very good at sitting still!

 When I finally got to see a Spinal surgeon in January after an mri, he recommended surgery instantly due to the size of the prolapse (squishing 90% of my sciatic nerve!) and on March 23rd I went into hospital to have it removed. I woke up from the anaesthetic having an asthma attack and the pain in my back was the worst I had ever felt. After a few shots of morphine, I was wiped out but I couldn't sleep and when I finally got home, I started to think I wasn't ever going to get back to normal. I felt like I would always be in so much pain.

Teaching Drifter 'High 10s'

So what got me through all this - other than Tom, Kate, friends and family? My equine OH, otherwise known as Drifter! Being unable to ride made me submerge myself in groundwork training, something I was still able to do with him. He gave me a reason for getting out of bed on the days when the pain was at it's worst. When I just needed a hug, he was there, still and calm and just there! When I was feeling sorry for myself, he almost had that 'Get up and get on with it' attitude towards me when we went out on our walks; 'Look how lucky you are; I'm going and you're coming with me.' I was able to start walking out for short periods and going with Drifter made it so much easier.

Our first jump 4 months post op!

I'm back on board now and loving life. I still have sciatic nerve pain frequently, and there are some things that still put me back, but I can now do what I love again, and boy was it worth the wait!

I owe him so much, he teaches me something everyday; patience, strength, and most of all empathy.

                                        

God made the horse from the breath of the wind, the beauty of the earth and the soul of an angel

H: And then you get hit by that bus...

So it's been over a year since our last blog posts. Life has been extremely busy for the tribe and has had a fair share of ups and downs. Last March I underwent surgery on my back to remove a disc prolapse compressing my sciatic nerve. Fast forward a few months, I was recovering well and I had just made a mad decision; to finally embark on a journey with a foal, a dream I've had for many years but never felt it was the right time. So Spring brought with it joy, recovery, excitement and I felt like this was a new beginning. We had our boys, and I had the best possible Mum for my new baby girl.

Until all our worlds got turned upside down in the summer: Our stead-fast, hardy mare with a will stronger than any horse I've ever known, our cuddly pony Spice started to deteriorate rapidly. She’d done two more winters than the vets thought she would, but arthritis was starting to take over and I dreaded receiving phonecalls from Kate, with the fear that our little girl was in pain. One evening I had one those and my tough girl had lost her light, she could barely walk and was having to have the boys at the yard help her up from a roll. We had to make the heartbreaking decision; to say Goodbye. 

Everyone says it's the hardest decision you'll ever make, but you never realise just how bad it's going to be until it touches you. I'd never before been in such a position; I was battling with my own personal need to see her, be with her and just have her presence in my life, with the crippling fear that I was going to be too late and cause her unnecessary hurt. I had always promised myself that I would never let her suffer; that I owed her more than that. So here your faced with a life or death decision for real, for one of your closest companions, a member of your family, who can only communicate with body language, which over the eight years I shared my life with her, I came to know so well.   I have my friend Kate to thank so much, for not only helping me come to the decision, but also to come to terms with it. 

The pain from that day will live with me forever, I questioned myself, have I done the right thing? Was it the right time? I've just lost a huge part of my life and my heart. But then time starts to pass and your realise that she had a way of telling us when it was the right time, she is now free. The beauty of being part of a herd is that we were all able to heal together, Kate and I had one another to talk to and cry with and Russia and Drift had each other, to grieve with, to heal with, and they did. And we did. Her spirit, her fight, her strength and her unwillingness to change her mind taught me how horses could be as set on their own path as us. Spice was not a horse that could be bullied into things, once her mind was set that was it, and 100 miles an hour of pure pony strength saw to that. The only way was to join her on her path and enjoy the journey.

She was the first horse to allow me the privilege to sit on her at liberty in her space, her field. And boy what an eye opener; this horse that we stopped riding because she was so tense and stressed by it, it exasperated her arthritis; allowed me to jump up and share in her peacefulness in the field. No tack, no ropes, no force, just connection based on mutual respect, and this taught me another lesson; less is always more when it comes to control. The more you trust, the more you can ever imagine they will give in return. The sheer joy and love I felt in that moment, was inspiring and liberating and I thank her for being a great partner and teacher. I miss her everyday, but I can look back now with only the most wonderful memories of a truly special girl. I love and miss her more than I can describe...

How lucky I am to have had something, that made saying Goodbye so hard...

H:: Back down to earth

Our journey began on the ground: having a nervous un-handled two year old, I had no option. First and foremost I needed to convince Drifter that I wasn't out to get him! I started using join-up (the only tool I had in my box at the time) which helped us start communicating, but I realise now I was sending him rather confusing signals. It was a real breakthrough for us when Drifter allowed me to sit with him, whilst he lay down in his stable. This was the first time I felt he trusted me and from there he has come a long way. I ran with Drifter in the field and in the school, getting him to follow me, back up and come to me. Another hugely important part of building a relationship, was spending time just being in his presence without asking anything of him. I still find join-up useful however I very rarely send Drifter away nowadays - why would I if he wants to be with me?

Here is a short video of how we started with groundwork:

I have found groundwork is so crucial as it not only helps us to build partnership, but it also helps to form boundaries: personal space is of such importance when working with half a tonne of horse!! I have always taught Drifter to respect my space, to the point where he will back up if you so much as turn around and look at him. I did this because when he was younger he was so playful with his front legs and he had no idea of his power; I got flattened on many occasions, never aggressively, he'd come back and look at me on the floor in confusion: we had to form a boundary. But it has it's downsides, because now when I'm teaching Drifter movements at liberty, his default response is to back up, to give me more room, although he is improving!!

Drifter has his boundaries for me too; he isn't afraid to say no if I ask too much. He teaches me to be patient, to read his signals and that if he does say no- it's me that has done something wrong.

After doing liberty work in the saddle with Drifter - I almost lost touch with groundwork and I forgot how much we both enjoyed it. Since I hurt my back in August last year, I have been unable to ride and I have remembered my love for working with Drifter on the floor!!

So for us it is all about positive reinforcement and having fun:

-Drifter has got to enjoy what we do otherwise he will just decide not to; he's at liberty, he has the choice!

-I have to use clear body language and reward exactly what I'm after: I was teaching Drifter to walk sideways in his stable over the winter and after two strides, because there was no more room, Drifter went to his default and took a stride backwards, but I responded 'Good boy'. So he thought that what I was after, was two steps sideways, two steps back! So it is so important to reward him straight away for what I want him to do

-I always reward Drifter for trying- he doesn't like being wrong

-'Look away' and 'Being still' are two of my favourite things that I have taught Drifter to do, as they are so useful!

-Teaching Drifter things from the ground, makes things so much easier when I'm in the saddle, as it's easier to show him on the ground what I'm after, than to tell him in the saddle.

Here is some clips of some groundwork I do with Drifter;

  

Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding:: Albert Einstein