H:: The nightmare of PSSM...

So Drifter has a rare muscle condition known as Equine Polysaccharide storage myopathy, otherwise known as PSSM. In simple terms, he has an abnormal accumulation of glycogen in his muscles. It is a condition that primarily affects quarter horses, draft horses and of course appys.

We found out around 12 months ago. Drift went very lethargic, reluctant to move forward, incredibly stiff and generally did not seem himself. After several lameness work ups, osteo, clipping, bloods, we were at a complete loss. Just getting him to trot was exhausting, I just could not ride him and he wasn't happy. The only thing his bloods showed were a high enzyme count which suggested he'd tied up.

Pre diet: Jumping flat and twisting from behind. He was getting under fences like he never usually did.

My vet mentioned that there was a rare condition called PSSM that might be the culprit, he explained it in general terms and recommended I put him on the high oil low carb diet. Of course I started immediately but there was only minimal improvement, I was building up very slowly as he wasn't used to a diet with lots of fat, he's always been kept on a very minimal diet due to his hooves!!

So of course I went home and researched, and posted on my old faithful - Phoenix horse. This forum is full of people with so much knowledge, but also a genuine interest in helping others. They directed me to the PSSM facebook group which I found immensely reassuring. It also had the 'Miracle Diet'.

10 days post diet: Finding our wings again

Being completely cynical by this point, I gave it a go but with very little hope. After 7 days we had some ENERGY. After two weeks I had DRIFTER. I couldn't believe it. I jumped him and I felt like we were flying again, like it was nothing. So of course, he has stayed well and truly put on this diet ever since and it has never stopped us since. He's been amazing and has achieved so much in the last 12 months including sailing his highest fence yet at 1m 25 !!

3 weeks post diet: Flying at 1m20

But it isn't without nightmares. Last night I arrived at the field as usual in the pitch black after work to find a Drifter that didn't want his dinner. ALARM BELLS.

I brought my two weather hardy neds in to see what was up, and Drifter was not right. He didn't touch his hay and was shifting from one back leg to the other, in serious pain. He kept trying to get down and was refusing to get back up. He looked so uncomfortable. In the 10 years that I've owned him I can honestly say I have never seen him look so ill. As I was sat on his stable floor with his head in my lap, I was reduced to tears.

My poor baby

Having a heart horse is something you can't really put into words. To say he owes me nothing, is an understatement, I owe him everything. He has changed the whole way I look at horses, and he has got me through times and places when nothing else could.

After our vet gave him some pain relief, and buscapan, he significantly improved but was still visibly uncomfortable. He is still not right but improved. He has had a huge scoop of turmeric in his feed tonight and is rugged to keep his poorly muscles warm. I have yet to see what the next few days will hold but I'm positive we'll see it through. But it is a stark reminder that our health is everything, that it the gift. To wake up and be okay. To wake up and have everyone we love be okay. That's all that matters, everything else is a bonus...

Keep calm and carry on...

H:: A bit less control, a lot more to learn

So we kicked off the shoes and were embarking on our barefoot journey. It was then when I started researching further into training and horsmenanship techniques. I went on a Horse Psychology course and learnt clicker training, and I wanted to subscribe to Parelli but it was just too expensive for a student! So I read books, of which Tao of Equus by Linda Kohanov and Dancing with horses by Klaus Hempfling were my top two.

Just hangin' around together

TofE made me really look into myself rather than always at Drifter, what signals might I have been giving off, and how much emotional congruence plays a role with horses as much as people. Horses know when we aren't feeling right, they know when we aren't ourselves. One of my teachers once told me, if you're already in a mood, don't even bother. This is an interesting concept, but one I don't completely agree with. I think it is a LK says; you have to be true to your emotions, the horse understands better if you accept you’re not happy, rather than if you're trying to be okay when you're not. Riding for me is a total stress release, and the challenge is whether Drift decides to bring me out of it, or join me in the bad mood!!!

So we decided the next part of our journey to liberty would be to ride without a bit. So I bought a Dr Cook off ebay, as these seemed to be a popular choice on the forums and we gave it a go. My first time riding him bitless I popped him over a tiny cross pole and he gave me this:

SOLD! The lack of a bit seemed to have sent Drift into orbit and I couldn't believe how different he jumped. And the best bit; excuse the pun; if I got it wrong and misjudged, Drifter was not pulled in the mouth. Since that day I've never bitted Drifter again because he doesn't need one. Nothing evangelical, just that he seemed happier which meant I was too.  He is now ridden in a side-pull for jumping and hacking and still his Dr cook for xc. I see it as part of my training process to work on his responsiveness and although it makes things more difficult at times, the reward to me is totally worth it.

It is tricky for dressage since we can't compete at all bitless. This is a huge sticking point and one I think BD really need to look at changing. I really don't see a bitless horse having any advantage so why not? Dressage at it's best, is the most beautiful display of horse/rider connection, the less the control, the more beautiful in my opinion. I've seen Grand Prix done with a cordeo, and it's utterly breath taking.

Attempting dressage HC. 

So. Which one?! I have tried so many bitless bridles to find the best connection and comfort for me and Drift. The side pull is my out and out favourite, which is literally two reins on the side of the noseband, but it is also the softest with no more pressure than a head collar. My plan is to get Drift going in this for xc next, but  he can still be partial to a good bronc for fun, so I need to make sure his responsiveness is perfect first.

'Mum, wasnt that an awesome jump?'
 Proceed to bronc for Britain forgetting Mum has yet to purchase her 'oh shit strap'!!

I love riding bitless and intend to break P using a side pull, if I can get her training and preparation right, there's no reason not to. Interestingly since I stopped riding using a bit in 2010, Drift's dentist appointments have been pretty much unnecessary, they have always commented on how fantastically soft his mouth is with no sharp teeth. And finally, riding bitless was definitely our precursor to riding at liberty, not that it has to be that way, it's just that for us, that was the natural progression.

Every rider has that one special horse that changes everything about them..

H: If you stumble make it part of the dance...

We as horse owners are always striving for a closer relationship with our equines. Whether you do dressage and the slightest cues are asking for the biggest movements, or coming into a huge cross country fence and you want the horse to read the same stride as you so you clear in harmony, or hacking down a busy main road and you want the horse to know where to stand and wait to be told to move on; we're all looking for the same thing...Connection.

For myself, being able to ride at liberty was my dream; entrusting my horse to look after me and listen to me, completely free, infinitely testing our boundaries and to finally know if he is truly doing it because he wants to, not because he's forced to. So I'd seen Parelli and Stacey Westfall do it, and it seemed a million miles away. You find yourself thinking 'Those horses must be so well behaved,' 'They must have been training for years for this,' 'They have a gift.' But the truth is, there is no secret, no gift; anyone can do it, and you certainly don't need the 'Perfect horse'. It's just time, patience and determination.

When Drift came as a two year old, I knew I wanted to take things slowly with him, he was so nervous of everything and had so much anxiety. I was only 16 at the time, and perhaps buying an unhandled two year old with horstism wasn't the smartest move. So we went steady, got Drifter to accept a head collar, a rug (which took about 12 months before he stopped shuddering when you threw it over his back!!) By the time he was 3 we had a relationship, albeit a shaky one. I loved him to bits, and he was starting to trust me, but this trust was taken back in an instant if I made a mistake.

Baby Drifter, terrified of being brushed!!

So he turned 3 and it was time to start PROPER work. Head collar was fine, and I introduced him to a bridle which was one of the easier tasks. A saddle took some time, but finally he accepted wearing it in his stable. Then came the lunging in our small sand school. I walked him around there slowly, it was right next to his paddock, and it was closed using a line of thick electric fence. So I slowly sent him away.... In less than 3 seconds he was blind bolting out of the arena, and straight at the electric. As it was the mains that connected to all the paddocks, and it was right at the source, it was powerful; I had no doubt he'd stop. But oh no, he bolted straight through it, taking half the paddock fencing with him for around 200 metres.

Getting some much needed rest!

FAIL. I ran back to his stable to find a quivering mess, with a burn mark on the whole front of his chest. It was red raw, but of course he wasn't okay with any kinds of bathing, sprays, powders. Those are the days when you just think, What the F*** am I doing here? I'm way out of my depth this is supposedly going to be my horse to ride and enjoy!

Then came the backing process. I'd started to sit on Drift in his stable, bareback and with a saddle and he accepted me, it was a closed environment with nowhere to go. So being a crazy 17 year old, who'd never started a horse before, I thought he'd be fine to take into the field and I'd just have a ride round and see how it went.... BADLY of course! Walk was okay for a few minutes, I asked for trot and ping! I was flying through the air. No worries, just bad luck first time, I wasn't ready. Back on and ping! Bronc and twist to drop your shoulder, the fastest and most successful evacuation process!

One of my daily falls! One of the least dramatic!

BUGGER. He has super powers and knows exactly how to get me off! All the things I'd been thrown before, bucking, napping, rearing, launching, OH NO. I'm a bronc; and I say there is absolutely no way in hell I'm letting you stay up there whilst I'm moving. So I decided perhaps he wasn't ready for ridden work and went back to making him stronger on the ground. 12 months on, after sending me through, over and into the menage fence, we had a horse that could be ridden; kind of! I still probably fell 75% of the times I rode him for the first 6 months, but we were making progress. He was not a straightforward breaker, thats for sure.

OUCH. Sore bum yet again!!

TYPICAL. I'd just got Drift going and I certainly didn't want to leave him, but I also wanted to get a job that could pay for him forever. So off I went to university, and I'd come home every other week to continue his education. Realistically, it was not enough, but due to his unpredictable nature, I was terrified to let anyone else ride him, in a fear he'd receive a telling off and retreat further into his shell than he still was. And if I'm being truly honest, I'd worked so hard to get him where he was, I wasn't sharing the credit with anyone else. Luckily for him, riding for me was just a bonus. This horse meant everything to me and as I'd always promised him, even if I could never ride him, he was my horse of a lifetime. (Looking back; I probably shouldn't have told him).

Finally getting somewhere!!

So then as I wrote in earlier post I stumbled onto keeping horses Barefoot and I started to question absolutely every area of horse management. The bit, was it necessary for us? He was ridden only in a happy mouth and was only ever strong when he blind bolted in fear- No bit, strength, gadget will ever stop that. And so began the next chapter...TBC

K: Believe you can do it and you've won half the battle.

When I was 17 Sugar came to live with us. I’d been riding her for a while for a novice family who had ended up with a bad tempered pony their daughter couldn’t ride. Sugar was a 13.2hh appaloosa, boy did she play the chestnut mare stereotype well. We’d been getting on fine, schooling, jumping – Hayley had tried some games with her, she’d clearly done it before. I was hoping that the work we had put in would mean she could go on to be a good pony for an experienced child and not end up in the wrong hands.

May 2007 my world changed. Sugar flipped because I pushed her beyond what she could take, she reared and knocked me out, I fell and my foot got wedged in the stirrup causing her to trample me. I spent the next 24 hours not knowing the date, time or who I was. It was frightening. After a number of scans I finally remember the consultant telling me I was a princess; I was demanding, but I was going to be ok. Lucky for me, I don’t remember the time of the accident. Our bodies have a way of protecting us from the worst. The final damage was wrecked tendons, ligaments and broken bones in my knee, leg and foot. It was to be a long recovery, I needed an operation and I was about to take my A Levels. I’ve told you before about my drive to succeed no matter what – I may have got that from my mum. She told the consultant to postpone the operation if it wouldn’t cause any further damage, cast my leg for the next week and give me enough medicine for me to sit my exams. This is exactly what happened. Following, I had an operation to reconstruct my knee and I started the 12 months of physio to recovery. Although the real recovery was 9 months later, a holiday away with my friends I finally stopped using by crutches as support and started to get back on with my life.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Back in the saddle

I wasn’t to ride again, my leg was weak and my confidence broken. The doctor said I shouldn’t ride again. Sugar was sold to a family friend. This elderly man became her best friend, he broke her to a trap and she will live out her days with him. I would recover, go off to uni and for a while not have horses on my mind. But any girl who has grown up with horses knows we can’t get by without. It’s an addiction. At 21, Hayley and I were both back from uni and I went to visit her, Drifter and Spice. I wanted to to ride and it was a turning point for me. I felt at home in the saddle on Drifter, he knew I needed him to take care of me and over the next few weeks I would start to do more and even have a small jump. If it wasn’t for Hayley and Drifter I wouldn’t be back in the saddle. Thank you.

2014 Drifter and I

I still sometimes get nervous when I ride, mostly  jumping and cross country. This is because I know most danger is here, but it gets better and I have Russia who no matter what makes me feel safe. We’re learning together, day by day we jump higher and ride faster. There is nothing this horse won’t do for me. So next time you feel like the hurdle is too big, or your nerves kick in because ultimately you could get hurt…it’s okay. Build your confidence slowly and never let someone push you further than you can handle, each time you do something it will become easier.

Nothing stopping us.

Most of all, please use safety gear. Safety stirrups would have let me walk away with a few bruises. We’re not indestructible and we’re riding animals who have their own minds – even our best horses have a bad day.

H: Meet Princess P...

So meet Hope; more commonly know as P ! On 24/04/2015 this little miracle was born..

She was a huge filly and a difficult birth. On the Map, (her Mum) was not the easiest of maidens and took a little time to accept her baby. But the result our beautiful Halona Paloma. I immediately messaged Kate and my OH Tom, that Clare had got a buckskin filly, the foal I'd been dreaming of for the past four years. It was a month after my operation and it's funny how being quite unwell makes you even more determined to make your dreams a reality. I decided I wanted my next challenge and I wanted it to be a 'Tabula Rasa'. I knew she was 'the one' the minute I saw Clare's post. The moment we arrived, I had those butterflies that you only get when you know this is the new member of your family.

She was friendly, but also independent, coming over to say hello and then wondering off. That day was magical and I'll never forget it. I was drawn to her, through the field of golden beauties. I was fascinated by her indifference; her bold and sassy nature that I would come to know so well. It wasn't even a decision, I'd made up my mind and she was joining the herd (no sleeping on it needed!!!).

The only thing I hadn't predicted was that I would lose my leading lady, our caring Mother hen who looked after all the babies. I was left with a complete dilemma; put her in with Drifter? Who we know can be a little bit of a sociopath, seeking affection at times, but from only those he trusts deeply and his sometimes stallion-like and unpredictable behaviour made me nervous that she might get hurt. I was wondering whether to find somewhere else for her to go rather than keep them together. 

I shouldn't have worried. I put them together and Drifter took to Big Brotherhood immediately. Showing her around his field and reassuring her, but also setting clear boundaries. What was immediately clear, she didn't feel threatened by him, or any of the other 16.2 geldings or mares! She was a bold and troublesome little filly with a huge heart. 

I absolutely adore her, she's my baby girl and she's a representation of a new adventure. She has turned out to be far better than I could have ever hoped for, she makes me laugh and smile, but most of all she melts my heart with her soft nature and ultimate courage. 

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present... :KFP!

K: Success is not measured by ribbons, but the harmony of working together in partnership.

We live crazy, fast paced and sometimes blurry lives. The past 15 months of silence has been down to just that. Today I sit on the train contemplating the day, what lies ahead and how I will do better than last time. Life's for me, about moving forward, learning more and challenging myself to be more than I was yesterday. It's exhausting. 

Why tell you this? Because I want all of the above for Russia; to achieve, move forward and be everything I know he has the potential to be. But if I take the approach I take on my own successes to his development I assure you, our love affair will end badly. Maybe I should apply that thinking to my own life.

2015 - Just broken

He is now broken; in fact it's the quickest I've ever seen a horse ride away. Within 12 months he's gone from non to elementary, from the ugly duckling into a beautiful swan. Not without some stumbling blocks along the way...I look forward to telling you all about overcoming these. He dealt with losing Spice and although he isn't past it (story for another day) he has become incredibly independent. She instilled his confidence in life. I thank her  for that.

2017 - Starting to look like a grown up 

Most importantly throughout this breaking process he still sees me as equal; when we walk together he's always by my side (again a little bit of Spice's influence I'm sure) and whatever I ask of him, no matter how scary he will put one foot forward in front of the other.

Of course we push him, he's talented and why shouldn't he achieve everything he's capable - but never to the detriment of himself or our relationship.

So a life passes by; crazy, busy, and blurry, we should take the learnings of our horses to understand success is a great place to be, but our need to succeed shouldn't be of detriment of the things we have to treasure. Because after all, when things don't go to plan it's those treasures that get us through. 

H: God made good doctors for healing the body; he made horses for healing the soul/

So since August 2014, I've had a few issues with my back and my chest. I managed to give myself a large disc herniation from lifting, followed by an average fall off Drifter (my own fault, as I didn't realise a distance had been altered in a combination and was far too short for him!). The result was a few nights in A&E, nebulisers for breathing and scans galore on my back and chest. The fall had caused spasm in my chest resulting in asthma, and further aggravated the issues I was having in my lower back. I was able to cope with the back pain, but with the laboured breathing life was difficult. I couldn't believe that in the space of the week, I had gone from being a fit and active 23 year old, riding everyday, to being unable to walk a short distance without struggling to breathe and having acute sciatic pain down my leg.

A week before my disc popped it's clogs!

A few months on with inhalers and physio, my breathing significantly improved - I was able to speak without taking deep breaths again :) But my back remained a nightmare. I was still unable to ride and walked with a limp, with the worst pain when trying to stand up after sitting! I was told not to ride until I was sorted, and in actual fact I was unable to anyway; the worst blow. Riding is my hobby, my life, my stress release, my passion. I was absolutely gutted and started to get very down, I'm just not very good at sitting still!

 When I finally got to see a Spinal surgeon in January after an mri, he recommended surgery instantly due to the size of the prolapse (squishing 90% of my sciatic nerve!) and on March 23rd I went into hospital to have it removed. I woke up from the anaesthetic having an asthma attack and the pain in my back was the worst I had ever felt. After a few shots of morphine, I was wiped out but I couldn't sleep and when I finally got home, I started to think I wasn't ever going to get back to normal. I felt like I would always be in so much pain.

Teaching Drifter 'High 10s'

So what got me through all this - other than Tom, Kate, friends and family? My equine OH, otherwise known as Drifter! Being unable to ride made me submerge myself in groundwork training, something I was still able to do with him. He gave me a reason for getting out of bed on the days when the pain was at it's worst. When I just needed a hug, he was there, still and calm and just there! When I was feeling sorry for myself, he almost had that 'Get up and get on with it' attitude towards me when we went out on our walks; 'Look how lucky you are; I'm going and you're coming with me.' I was able to start walking out for short periods and going with Drifter made it so much easier.

Our first jump 4 months post op!

I'm back on board now and loving life. I still have sciatic nerve pain frequently, and there are some things that still put me back, but I can now do what I love again, and boy was it worth the wait!

I owe him so much, he teaches me something everyday; patience, strength, and most of all empathy.

                                        

God made the horse from the breath of the wind, the beauty of the earth and the soul of an angel